41 ways to piss Vader off
by illogicalstar
Summary: The title says it all! READ AND REVIEW! ratings might change. oh yes and there is a bit of love..some slash and some randomness
1. Vadee

Chapter one: 41 ways to piss Vader off.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own shit, except Amerie, Julia, and Barbra. And the ways to piss Vader and the emperor off. George Lucas owns Vader and Palpatine.

Julia, Amerie and Barbra were sitting on the floor of the executor, eating pizza and writing kick me signs. Julia looked up and saw Darth Vader storming past-she smirked and nudged Amerie.

"Lookie, Vadee is passing" she said to Amerie, pointing to Vader.

Amerie smirks and looks Julia in the eyes. She raises an eyebrow.

"I bet we could piss him off." Amerie said smirking.

"Yeah, we could write a list of things to do to him today." Julia said smirking

"I can name one." Barbra said raising an eyebrow. "We could throw marshmallows at him while he's walking."

Julia rolled her eyes and laughed. "You love throwing marshmallows at people."

"Hmm... we could dye his cape pink."

They soon began writing a list of all the ways they could piss Vader off, and soon Amerie had a list. She shows Barbra and Julia.

"Lookie at me list!" Amerie exclaimed giggling non stop. Julia and Barbara began reading; they tried not to laugh as three storm troopers passed them.

41 ways to piss Darthy Vadee off

by: Amerie Christensen.

glue his helmet to his face.

pierce his ears with tiny heart shaped earrings

er..and anything else you want to pierce.

suck helium and repeat everything he says

sing "oh Vadee you make me complete."

giggle non stop

yell " I love obi wan Kenobi"

get him completely drunk, tie him up naked, take thousands of pictures and post them on the HoloNet.

Buy a ferret and name him darthy.

Write a love letter to the emperor, using hearts when dotting the I's and sign it in Darth Vader's name.

write a song about him and Palpy sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g.

tell him obi wan is better

hug him whenever you can

kiss him whenever you can.

talk like yoda non stop

glue his penis to his suit

tell him padme was a whore

ask him why he didn't win the battle against obi wan.

get him drunk and dress him like a whore.

answer all his questions in questions.

sing Barbie girl non stop.

ask him if he will be your valentine

ask him to see Brokeback mountain with you.

tell him atleast 40 times a day that you want him to pop your cherry.

flirt with the stormtroopers.

crash all the ships, and tie fighters in the hanger of the Executor.

ask him why he wears a helmet-even though you know why.

throw him a birthday party

at the party-pay a stormtrooper, have the storm trooper jump out of the GIANT PINK cake, and strip while singing happy birthday.

Say bite me everytime you answer him.

send him to tattoine

fill his chambers/rooms with sand-burning hot sand.

scream bloody murder.

try his suit on and dance around making a fool of yourself/him.

call him by his real name.

take him camping with Palpy

drug them, strip their clothes off

take pictures

in the morning wake them up with a fog horn and crackle evilly

lock him in a room with C-3PO, Jar Jar, Jabba the hutt, and yoda.

set him up on a blind date with a really ugly woman, and tell him that the woman is beautiful.


	2. Palpy's turn

Chapter 2-The Emperor

call him palpy

giggle and say "yoda kicked your ass! heh"

buy 400 cats, dye them all green and name them all yoda.

call him my precioussss in that creepy voice that only smegol can do.

go on the holoNet and announce that you are having his children

make him get a sex change and name him peprica omoto smalpy, the empress of the galactic Poopsire.

tell him that he is your dirty little secret

call his smalpatine

tie him upside down and have 50 cats, 20 nexus attack him.

dress him up in a pink shirt that says-Proud to be gay

after "darth vader" sends him the love letter, write a letter, order 600,000,000 bouquets of flowers and sign it in palpatine's name-your smexy palpy.

introduce him to your friends as Skypatine

find out what he hates (to eat) and feed it to him.

ask him in your sweetest, sluttiest voice if you can play with his lightsaber

ask him why he doesn't have a pink lightsaber

tell him that mace windu would make a better emperor than him-atleast 30 times a day.

scream everytime you see him.

dress him up as Rudolph-antlers, red nose, bells and all.

sing oops I did it again non stop.

get jar jar to be his secretary

throw up on his boots

plant a bomb in his throne room

make him eat beans

tell him atleast 20 times a day that the jedi are going to come back and kick his ass.

sing all the songs from Moulin Rouge


	3. Author's warning

Okay listen people, you've read the story, Now Review! my god is it really that hard..all you have to do is go to the bottom of the page and press the review button. Gosh. you people are damn lazy. I mean really.


	4. Vader's turn agian!

Vader's turn again.

trip him all the time

breed butterflies in his room

Wax his legs while he is passed out. 'Oooooh sir, I knew Gillette was good but that's amazing!'

run around naked screaming 'I love you vader.'

grab his helmet and draw yoda on the back of it.

feed him dung beetles every night

send him lots of love letters

pee on his cape

shave his eyebrows off(if he still has any)

tell him that padme is alive and is married to obi wan

stalk him

buy Obi wan kenobi beddings and place them on his bed

ask him atleast 60 times if he's seen Brokeback mountain.

ask him to bare your children.

ask him if YOU can bare his children

tell him 'its not the size that matters, it's the motion of the ocean.'

pinch his cheeks and tell him he's cute

giggle and pinch his arse

get yourself completely drunk and start stripping

hump his leg

scream at random moments

sing all the songs from 'phantom of the opera'

dress him up in pink tights

make him watch titanic with you and cry a lot

sing 'my heart will go on' and dedicate it to him

write a song and dedicate it to him

sing promiscuous

ask him to shave your legs

call him teenie weenie

go to his room in the middle of the night and tell him your scared, then ask him if you can sleep with him.


	5. Paply once again

Emperor Palpy's turn

88888888888

call him by his first name

call his mother and arrange to have tea with her(if she's still alive)

name his genitals

sing 'god save the queen'

tell him Darth Vader is a hottie, and he's a saggy old fag

say 'I want to eat you all up, yes I do.'

talk to him in a different language.

pay the stormtroopers to flirt with him

sing 'Felix Navidad' even though Christmas is months away.

hang mistletoe up

bat your eyes at him

wax his whole body

cover him in a big pile of poop

send him to an old person's home

have a kid born on 6-6-6 (my sister came up with this one)

make him pay child support

call all the orphanages in the galaxy and tell them that palpatine is going to adopt all of the children

Announce when you're going to the bathroom.

Wax the ceiling in the throne room.

Speak in acronyms

Check out this infected canker sore in my mouth!

I don't know why I ate it - liver and onions always gives me gas.

I just had a proctological exam - wow, worth every penny!

The last time my head rang like this I woke up with a dead man next to me!

Tell/ask him all these random things:

I puked on the last person who flew next to me.

My butt reeeally itches!

Would you look at the size of the hair I just yanked out of my nose!

My psychiatrist says that flying helps offset my desire to mutilate small, defenseless, woodland creatures.

The last guy who ignored me is still on a respirator.

Would you hold this messy kleenex for me?

Wanna see my tonsils? I keep them in a jar.

I haven't changed my underwear in over two weeks! How about you?

The doctors say that my eighth personality is the least dangerous.

Wow, look at that little boy in the third row!

Can you believe they only gave me three years for killing my own sister!

Hey, does your urine ever turn blue?

This cramped fuselage reminds me of solitary.

Oh damn, my diaper's wet again!

If I go unconscious just stick your finger down my throat - that'll wake me up.

Wanna buy a gerbil?

Wow, they could charge for that cavity search they gave me at the border!

I've just been treated for tapeworms.


	6. Vader VS Amerie

Chapter 6- Vader V.S. Amerie

**Suck Helium and repeat everything Vader says.**

The girls had decided to annoy Vader, but they were only going to do 20 pranks a day. Amerie decided that she wanted to be the first one to play the pranks on Vader, so she went to the store and bought 30 balloons filled with helium, 10 bottles of rum and 20 bottles of sleeping pills.

They stayed up all night planning their little pranks, and in the morning they reviewed their plans again.

It was early morning when Amerie woke up, she had a shower and began dressing-she picked out a tight black dress (like the one Angelina Jolie wore in Mr. and Mrs. Smith.) put her hair in a loose bun and laced up her knee high boots. She then walked to the Executor's mess hall; there she knew she would find Darth Vader.

As Amerie was walking to the mess hall, the stormtroopers turned their heads and stared at her. One began whistling and soon all of them were whistling, Amerie smirked and continued walking. She came to the mess hall and saw her friends Mara Jade, Kalliyan Jinn, Alena Antilles, Sophitia Antilles and Aida Christensen. She waved and walked over to them, she then told them of her, Babs and Julia's plan to annoy the Darth Vader and the emperor.

Soon after she finished eating she found Darth Vader yelling at a frightened officer. She walked to him, and hid her smirk.

"Good Morning Lord Vader." she said when he turned around and bowed to her.

"Good morning Lieutenant Redeemix." Vader answered in his deep voice, he smiled under his mask; he liked Lady Redeemix, she was his favorite Lieutenant. She never failed to surprise him, and she never disappointed him.

"Please Lord Vader call me Amerie." She said smiling.

Vader stiffed and his heart beat began to quicken, but soon he controlled himself and breathed a long breath before he answered Amerie.

"How are you this morning Amerie?" asked Vader smiling under his mask. The passing storm troopers and officers stopped to gape at the friendly exchange of words between Lady Redeemix and Lord Vader-but most of them were staring at what Amerie was wearing. Vader felt this and was about to turn around to yell at the officers and stormtroopers when Amerie spoke.

"I'm well, how are you?" Amerie asked smiling; she then rolled her eyes at the stormtroopers and began yelling orders before Vader could answer. Once she was done yelling her orders to the troopers and officers, she turned back around and smiled one more at Vader.

"I'm fine." Vader answered, fidgeting with the tool he was holding.

Amerie noticed this and smiled, she sent a mental note to herself to tell her friends about his fidgeting. There was awkward silence when they couldn't of anything to talk about. Suddenly Amerie's comlink chimed, she excused herself and answered her call. It was Julia; she wanted to know how everything was going, and if she needed to bring the helium filled balloons yet.

"Everything's fine Jules, I think it is time to bring the balloons, meet me by the mess hall in two minuets." Amerie answered. She glanced up at Vader, and found him still fidgeting with the tool in his hand and smirked. Julia agreed to meet her by the mess hall and she ended the call with a push of a button. Amerie walked to Vader and smiled, she told him she had to meet her friend and apologized, he gave some lame excuse about having to speak with the emperor.

* * *

Amerie met with Julia and told her about Vader's fidgeting, Julia laughed and teased her saying; Vader had a crush on her. They parted ways shortly after that and Amerie walked to the bridge of the Executor, she sucked some helium and walked to Vader.

"Hello again Lady Redeemix." Vader said smiling under his mask.

"Hello again Lady Redeemix." Amerie repeated smirking. The stormtroopers, who were on the bridge of the Executor, began snickering and laughing. Vader however didn't find this one bit funny.

"This is not funny." Vader yelled at the stormtroopers, he was about to lash out at Amerie but she snickered and repeated his words. "This is not funny."

Vader was loosing his patience and began force choking Amerie. The Stormtroopers that were watching tried to help Amerie; she on the other hand conjured up a force fireball and shot it at Vader. Vader fell flat on his butt and laid there for a while. Amerie brushed her dress, and began talking (yelling) at Vader.

"If you ever put one hand on me again, I swear on the pain of my death I will kill you." she said as she turned around. Vader got up, grabbed Amerie by the hair and threw her across the bridge. The stormtroopers felt sorry for her and tried to help her. Vader saw this and yelled at them.

"Leave her!" he yelled at them. He then looked at Amerie and walked over to her. "Get up woman." Amerie picked her self off the ground, brushed the front of her dress off and began walking away from him. She turned her head and gave him a deadly look-an 'I dare you to do that again' look and walked away.

When Amerie got to her room she was greeted by silence, and was happy to be alone.

Vader gaped at her retreating form; he couldn't believe the strength the petite woman had. He was in shock. Only her opponents had seen that look, and it meant Vader was in trouble. The stormtroopers stared at Vader and continued to work. Vader walked to his quarters and began meditating.

**A/N: It's going to be like Mr. and Mrs. Smith from now on. now you've read it. please review. **


	7. Vader's Revenge and the Imperial ball

Chapter 7- Vader vs. Amerie pt.2…and the emperor intervenes

**Call him by his real name**

**Vader's little revenge**

Vader's comlink was chiming, he turned it on. It was the emperor, he was crackling with joy. He felt the anger coming from his apprentice.

"What caused your anger Lord Vader?" Palpatine asked crackling with joy. "was it that new Lieutenant?"

Vader sighed; he knew he couldn't keep anything from his master.

"Yes master it was, she was taunting me."

"Did you teach her a lesson?" the emperor asked smirking, he liked it when Vader used his anger to punish the imperial officers and stormtroopers.

"Yes master, I did. She won't bother me anymore." Vader answered rubbing his head with his hand.

"Good, good." Palpatine answered crackling.

Vader and the emperor began talking about the planning the attack on the rebel base. His conversation with the emperor ended an hour later and he began to plan a little bit of revenge. He decided it would be a painful revenge.

It was about 3:00 Coruscant standard time when Vader emerged from his quarters, he was relaxed and ready for anything-except the constant annoyance of Stormtroopers and officers. He was walking to the bridge when he saw Lady Redeemix talking to a bunch of Imperial officers, and boy she looked pissed. he caught some of the conversation.

"No, we can't afford to go with that plan. Its suicide, unless you want to go with your squadron and do this plan." Redeemix said, she felt Vader walking past and looked up at him. She gave him that same look she had given him before and turned back to the Stormtroopers and Imperial officers. "I'm not going to send my troops to their deaths with this plan."

Vader smiled under his mask, but then wiped it off quickly. he remembered that he was still angry at her, Lady Redeemix looked up again and gave Vader a glare.

"What are you looking at Vader? See something you like?" she snapped, still glaring at Vader. The stormtroopers and Imperial officers backed away from her slowly. They were scared for her-because no one had spoken to Darth Vader like that and lived.

Vader smirked a bit under his mask and answered her.

"As a matter of fact I do see something I like." Vader answered. The storm troopers looked from Vader to Redeemix; they could see a battle was beginning to form. Vader just smirked and walked passed, Redeemix rolled her eyes at Vader's retreating form. She then said something that could only mean certain death.

"Pussy!" She yelled smirking, the stormtroopers gasps and hid behind anything they could find. Vader ignored her and kept on walking until she said…

"Anakin Luke Skywalker get back here and fight like a man. You're a damn pussy if you can't come and fight."

Vader spun around and charged up to Redeemix, he slapped her across the face and said in a threatening voice.

"Don't you dare use that name again. My name is Darth Vader and that's what you will address me as." Vader said snapping, the room became cold as the two sith glared at each other.

Vader soon began to take off his mask; he undid the screws and took it off completely. Revealing a handsome man with long sandy blonde hair and deep Azure eyes. Amerie gasped, she couldn't believe the man under the mask was handsome, she always thought he was an ugly crusty old man like the emperor.

Vader smirked, taking in her stunned look. Amerie pulled her eyes from his face and cleared her thought.

"Excuse me, I have to hem…go." Amerie said turning away from vader, and ignoring the smirk on his face, she walked toward her rooms.

"Chicken Shit!" Vader yelled smirking.

Amerie turned around and gave Vader a 'I dare you' look and yelled back to him.

"Pussy!"

Amerie turned around and continued walking, swinging her hips nice and slowly. Vader smirked as he watched her hips sway with her movements. He raised an eyebrow and thought about how sexy she was. Amerie turned around as she felt Vader's arousal in the force. She smirked and gave him the sexiest smile he had ever seen.

* * *

Later that evening was the Imperial ball; Vader was dressed in a black tuxedo and wore his long hair in a pony tail.

Amerie was dressed in an even sexier black dress and instead of wearing her black boots she was wearing her high heel sandals. She strode in with her group of friends; Mara, Alena, Sophitia, Julia, Barbra, Kalliyan and Aida. They were all looking sexy in black.

Amerie sat down at a table meant for two and ordered a glass of champagne. Vader saw this and took the opportunity and walked to her table.

"Can I sit?" he asked smirking.

"No." Amerie answered taking a sip of her champagne and smiling dangerously.

Vader sat down, ignoring her angry looks. Amerie took out her gun, placed it on her lap and covered it with her napkin and Vader did the same.

Soon everyone was dancing the tango. Vader stood up, placed the gun and his lightsaber on his chair and held out his hand.

"Dance with me." he said

"Right." Amerie said smirking; she did the same and took his hand.

Vader spun her around and pulled her into a passionate embrace. his hands roamed her body, checking for weapons of any sort. he spun her around and continued the frisk, he then slammed her into a wall. Amerie spun him around and shoved him against the wall of the ball room. She then began her frisk, she began with his shoulders and ended in his pocket, she looked down and wondered 'is that a gun or is he happy to see me?' Vader looked down and smirked.

"Its all Vader baby."

Amerie raised an eyebrow but said nothing. she then went down on him continuing her frisk.

The couple next to them were watching them with wide eyes. Palpatine was watching with a smirk on his face. hell everyone was watching.

She found a gun and hid it. Vader pulled her back up and they continued dancing. Vader pulled her closer to him and she felt his arousal against her leg. she snickered and began grinding her hips against his. he soon began grunting, the music stopped soon after that and Amerie excused herself. she laughed at vader's expression, he was still lusting after her, and there was a clear indicator of that.

Vader excused himself from the floor and walked to the Emperor, whom was talking to his wife Alana.

"Have fun Lord Vader?" asked Alana smirking.

"yes, I did." vader answered taking a seat next to Palpatine and his wife. They soon began talking about the Rebellion and how they were going to put an end to it. Amerie walked over to her friends and began talking about their new pranks against the emperor and vader, Although they decided to give vader a break from the pranking.

**A/N: Tell me what you think! **


	8. Imperial Ball pt 2

Chapter 8- Imperial Ball pt. 2

--------------------------------------

Vader is watching Amerie with a smirk on his face, and isn't paying any attention to what the emperor was saying. He suddenly excused himself and walked to Amerie. Empress Alana was watching the whole thing with a smirk, she knew Vader lusted after her god daughter.

Amerie watched as Vader walked towards her and her friends, she excused herself and walked towards vader. She smirked as she reached him. "what do you want Vader?" she asked smirking. Vader

answered her with a smirk. "you."

Amerie raised an eyebrow and smirked. Palpatine, Alana, Julia and almost everyone in the room were watching their exchange of words. Vader smiled and took her hand as another song began playing. "Dance with me Vader." Amerie said smirking.

"I don't dance." he said smirking, eventhough he had been dancing with her before. He knew he might not get away with saying that. Amerie said nothing, instead she pulled him closer to her, threw her arms around him, and began moving her hips. Vader said he didnt dance, but that night Amerie thought, if this is how he moved on instinct, he'd be downright dangerous with a few lessons. She liked a man who knew how to move. that night she learned the secret of salsa's allure. It was a dance that said 'to hell with today, to hell with tomorrow-tonight we dance.'

And so they did, filling their minds with nothing but the moment. The only thing that tore them from the dance floor was the dress code-they had to keep their clothes on. As they danced the emperor, his wifey, and half of the ball room were watching with amused looks. Mara whispered to Julia. "just wait, there'll be little Vaders and little Amerie's running around." she said smiling, julia

laughed and nodded. "I agree, they'll marry first." Julia said. Barbra smirked."she'll deny it, you know her she will." barbra said nodding at Amerie.

Vader's hands snaked down towards her butt, and pulled her closer to him, even though her body was touching his. He began grinding his hips against hers. She moaned softly and looked deep into his lust filled eyes, she smirked and ground her hips harder against his. Vader then grabbed her face, and kissed her roughly.

Amerie gasped and kissed him harder and rougher. As they were kissing, vader's hand continued to grab her butt, he brought a leg up and began to caress her leg. Amerie was the one whom ended the kiss, she shook her head and walked off, leaving Vader alone on the empty dance floor.

* * *

The ball ended soon after and they all went home. Amerie was tired and she began thinking about vader and how handsome he had looked that night. She soon ended her musings and climbed into bed, she sighed and controlled her emotions. she couldnt fall in love with him.

Vader on the other hand was angry that Amerie had walked off so easily after all that they did, all the feelings they had. He ended up killing half of his stormtroopers in a fit of anger, after his fit he keyed in his security number and climbed into his apartment, he then got ready for bed and changed into his sleep pants. He soon began to fall asleep, and slept about a special woman named Lt. Redeemix.


	9. Vader's little surprise wink wink

Chapter 9

**Vader's little surprise. 'Wink wink'**

Darth Vader woke up the next morning and got ready for another day at work. As he was putting his black boots, he remembered what had happened at the ball. He smirked and decided that he was going to get Amerie in his bed that night; he smirked, as she thought about Amerie naked in his bed moaning and squirming at very touch. He may have been 34 years old, but he acted like a horny 16 year old, and he could get any woman hot and soaking wet. He had a special gift.

Amerie woke up that morning to the sound of her birds chirping, she smiled and stretched, as Amerie was stretching when she remembered the night before, she frowned at the unpleasant memory of her encounter with Vader, Amerie couldn't believe she had let herself go and let Vader touch her. She told herself over and

over again that she wasn't in love, although a tiny voice in the back of her head told her that she was deeply in love with Darth Vader, dark lord of the Sith, and the most feared man in the empire. She

sighed and got ready for work; she showered and got dressed in a black form-fitting shirt and a matching knee high skirt. She decided to wear her favorite boots, the boots she had worn the day before.

* * *

Both Darth vader and Amerie got to work at the same time, and both entered the elevator at the elevator at the same time. Amerie pressed the button to her floor and vader did the same, she then ignored Vader, and began reading a book. Vader rolled his eyes and thought to himself 'this won't do' so he cleared his throat and began talking to her in a seductive and lusty voice-the same one that had gotten most of the women into his bed. 

"Hello Amerie, how are you?" he asked smirking. Amerie looked up from her book and at Vader.

"I am well." She answered curtly. Vader smirked as she answered him, and raised an eyebrow.

"you look very nice today." Vader said in his seductive voice, he could already tell that amerie was getting hot and bothered by him. She shifted, and continued reading her book.

"Sexy." Vader added raising an eyebrow and smirking, Amerie looked at vader and rolled her eyes. He then spoke to her in his native tongue of Huttesse.

"Bambino del dio siete così sexy, Desidero fare l'amore voi e sentirlo gridare il mio nome nel piacere acuto." He said, he knew this would make her come to him. Amerie gasped, his voice made her soaking wet to the point where she couldn't handle it. Vader grabbed Amerie and kissed her; he began groping her as he kissed her. She kissed him harder and rougher until the elevator chimed, letting them know that they had reached Vader's floor. Vader and Amerie continued kissing, she grabbed his cock and began moving her had in an up and down motion. He began moaning in pleasure; he slammed her against the wall of the elevator, shoved his hand up her shirt and began stroking her breast, turning her nipple into a hardened nub. She moaned through the kiss, she didn't care if they were on an elevator.

Mara Jade and Barbra were walking towards the elevator, they were talking loudly about random stuff-until they reached the elevator and saw Amerie and Vader kissing and almost having sex in the elevator. Barbra cleared her throat and gave a mara a stunned look. Amerie and Vader parted, Vader's cheeks were red and he walked out towards his office.

The rest of the ride was done in silence, when They got to their floor, Amerie walked right to her office and shut the door. She didn't come out the rest of the day.

**A/N: Now you've read it, tell me what you think by reviewing**.** Thank you- Lady Vader  
**


	10. Palpy's turn, Vader's anger

Chapter 10- Amerie is in love with Vader! Palpy's turn..  
**  
1. Call him Palpy  
**  
Amerie is sitting in her office typing a report, when her comlink chimes. It is Vader. He wants to know if she wants to go out for lunch. She smiled and agreed to meet him for lunch. They began talking, but half way through, Vader had to leave. Amerie ended the call with a push of a button.  
Mara walked into Amerie's office smirking, she knew Amerie was trying to forget about the elevator incident, and putting herself back together.  
"Amerie, how are you?" Mara asked, shutting the door and handing her a cup of coffee. Amerie smiles as she takes a sip of her coffee.  
"I'm well, thanks for asking." Amerie said as she set the cup on the table. "Are we planning to prank Palpatine?"  
Mara laughed and raised an eyebrow. She knew Amerie was going to avoid talking about the Elevator incident.  
"Sure, you want to do it?" asked Mara smirking.  
"Ha ha yeah sure, I'll call him Palpy." Amerie answered laughing, and took out the list of pranks to play on Palpatine.  
--------------  
Vader walked to his office, he saw his secretary Fiona and gave her a smile. Fiona smiled back and handed him some mail. Vader walked into his office, shut the door and began reading her letters. As he is reading his letters, his secretary comes into his office and hands him a cup of her specially brewed coffee. He takes the cup and gives Fiona a warm smile, Fiona leaves him to do his work.

It was 11:35 when Vader finished typing his report on the battle of Kashyyyk; he re-read his report and printed it off. Vader stood, took the report and walked out of his office. He dropped the report on Fiona's desk and walked to the elevators.

Vader walked into the elevator and froze-he didn't know Amerie's floor, he quickly called Amerie on her comlink. Much to his relief, Amerie picked her comlink up.

"Amerie, what floor are you on?"

"Vader, don't worry I'll come down to meet you on your floor."

"Well, I am in an elevator-"

Amerie rolls her eyes and smirks; she thought to herself 'boy is he persistent' and answered Vader in a sweet but deadly voice.

"Then get out of the elevator you're on and wait for me."

"Yes ma'am." Vader said mockingly. Amerie ends the call; she rolls her eyes and says under her breath. "Ooh that man is going to get it." She walks out of her office, down the hall and into the elevator. She then pushes the button to Vader's floor.

Vader sighed as Amerie ended the call; he stepped out of the elevator and waited for Amerie to come for him. The elevator door opened and Amerie stepped out, she smiled held out her hand. She and Vader then stepped into the elevator, Vader smiles at her and pushes the 'ground level' button. They soon reach the bottom floor and walk out holding hands. They walked out to Vader's speeder and got in, Vader then drove to The Blue Moon Café.

Vader and Amerie then got out of the speeder and went into the café. On the way inside, they saw the Emperor-Amerie shivered, she hated him with a passion. Dantius saw them and waved, he began walking over to them to start a friendly conversation.

"Ah, Vader my boy."

"Hello Master." Vader answered politely, Amerie couldn't help but roll her eyes. That is when the emperor saw her, he smiled widely.

"And Lady Redeemix."

"Hello Palpy, what's up old fart?" Amerie asked smirking. Vader looked at Amerie and raised an eyebrow. He couldn't believe she had called him that. He laughed but stopped as he saw Palpatine's stern look. Amerie smirked and looked at Vader; she raised an eyebrow and looked back at the emperor. She saw that he was twitching a bit, she laughed pinched Vader's butt and began walking towards their table. She turned around and smiled sweetly at Vader and the Emperor. She took a seat in her and innocently began reading the menu that had been placed next to her. Vader shook his head and laughed, he was beginning to get turned on by Amerie's display of affection. He turned his attention back to his master.

"Sorry about that master, I better get going."

"Its fine m'boy. I'll deal with her later."

"Master, I'll deal with her- I can teach her a lesson." Vader said, suddenly fearing for Amerie. Palpatine crackled evilly, he knew Vader would punish her. He liked the power Vader had over the woman, although he thought the woman to be a distraction. He was waiting for the time when Amerie messed up badly and Vader would kill her, a slow painful death. He crackled evilly.

Palpatine smiled and watched as Vader sat down next to Redeemix. He left soon after that.

Vader sat down and looked at Amerie; she was hiding behind her menu.

"What the hell was that for?" Vader asked glaring at the menu. Amerie put down the menu and gave him an innocent look.

"What was what for?" Amerie asked innocently. Vader growled impatiently and grabbed her hand roughly. His eyes quickly flashed yellow. Amerie saw this and looked away, she watched as a young mother was teaching her daughter how to fold her napkin on her lap. Her gaze shifted to a old couple bickering, she laughed a bit and shifted her gaze yet again to a young couple in love, showing their love to one another. She watched as the man held the woman close and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. The woman laughed and kissed her young lover, Amerie wondered if she and Vader would be as loving as that couple. Vader cleared his throat, and Amerie returned her warm hazel eyes to his cold yellow ones.

"You know what I'm talking about, why did you do that?" Vader yelled, he was angry. The other people sitting in the café looked at them with wide eyes, they knew about Darth Vader's anger, and they feared for the pretty mulatto girl sitting across from the angry dark lord of the sith.

Amerie's eyes widened, she didn't mean to get him this angry. She averted his gaze and looked at the friendly old woman staring at her in fear. She thought to herself 'these people are scared for me, they must know of Vader's anger.' She turned her gaze back to Vader and gave him a weak smile.

"Well?" Vader roared, standing up and grabbing Amerie's hair and throwing her across the café, she flew across the café, hitting a wall and curling into a wounded ball. The people in the café all gasped, but they saw Vader looking directly in their direction so they decided to continue eating and minding their business. Vader smiled as he felt power coming to him, he then strode to Amerie; suddenly he was hit with strong waves of pain. He gasped and dropped to his knees, he couldn't believe he had hurt her. Vader reached out to touch Amerie and pull her up; as soon as Amerie was on her feet she began sobbing. Up until then she had rarely cried in public, she dropped to her knees and cried openly in her hands. Vader's eyes soon changed from sith yellow to light blue. He reached out to touch Amerie; she slapped his hand away and slapped his cheek four times, each slap getting harder. Her usually warm eyes turned icy cold with hatred, she stood up, shaking in anger.

"Don't Fucking touch me you monster." she yelled walking away from him. She began running away from the café, she wasn't hungry anymore, and she ran to the office building with tears running down her face. 'How could she love that monster?' she asked herself as she neared her office. Amerie reached her office door and slammed the door; she sat on the floor and cried.

Mara, Barbra, and Julia all looked at one another; they knew something had gone wrong at her lunch date with Vader. They decided that they would leave her be, until the time was right.

Across Coruscant, Sidious crackled with glee as he felt the extreme hatred and anger radiating from his apprentice. He also felt the sadness and anger radiating from Redeemix. His crusty hands rubbed together as he began planning.

Vader was still at the café on his knees, looking off into space. The onlookers felt sorry for him, he may have been evil and mean at times but he wasn't a monster. They knew he was hurting from the slaps and the young woman's departure. Vader walked to his speeder and drove back to the office, when he got to his office he slammed the door and let out a long cry of fury, causing all the windows on his floor to break. He calmed himself and meditated, and afterwards thinking of ways to apologize to Amerie.

**A/N: I want at least 10 reviews by the 30th or I will NOT, I repeat NOT update. And I may decide to delete this story. So you people better start reviewing or it's bye-bye to this story. Lady Vader.**


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